I have a paternal half-sister who lives a decent plane ride away. She had a daughter 10 years ago. So yeah, in the sense that the kid is my kind-of sister's daughter, I'm an aunt. But, seeing as how I haven't seen either of them in 7 years. So I'm kind of a part-time aunt. I met my niece when she was a baby, I saw her again when she was 3, and now she's 10 and we're friends on Facebook. So very 2011, eh? At least now she might be able to pick me out of a crowd...
Well, this part-timer is ready for full time.
An "opportunity" for full-time arose when my younger brother's girlfriend got pregnant.
As far as a little background info, they, as a couple, were very new when she got pregnant. And due to that alone, there was a lot working against this relationship. I had faith though, because even before they found out, my brother would talk about how he never felt this way about his past girlfriends. Another "good sign" to me, was that this was the first of his girlfriends that I actually liked. She was nice, bubbly, and while not perfect, out of all his past girlfriends, she was the perfect one to get pregnant.
They were very together. Is was practically nauseating, how together and into each other they were. Nauseating, yes, but I was happy for them.
When I found out they were expecting, I reacted unexpectedly. Turns out, my brother was afraid to tell me, thinking I would react badly. Hell, even I was surprised at how I reacted. When I was notified by my mom, the first thing that popped into my head was, "nephew!" (I don't know why I assumed "boy.") While initially excited, I was simultaneously struck with an additional load of stress and nerves. But regardless of how I felt, this was happening, there was no sense in stressing about it, and, last but not least, I might finally have a chance to be a real aunt.
This was Memorial Day. Jump forward a month in time to the end of June. My brother went on a prior-arranged vacation with a group of their friends while Baby Mama stayed behind because she wasn't feeling well. Brother was going to stay home too, but Baby Mama insisted that he go, he had already paid the money, and she told him he should go because it would be his last chance to go on vacation, at least for a while.
So he went, for a couple days rather than the whole week, as there was also, unfortunately, a death in the family, and he came home for the wake and funeral.
I guess around then, things took a very sudden turn. Very sudden, yet very gradual.
Baby Mama, who had pretty much moved in by then (her mom made it very clear that they would not be living with her) started going straight home (her dad's house, her parents are divorced, and she wasn't on excellent terms with mommy dearest, understandably) after work because she was tired and sick. This was, at the time, valid, her dad even backed up that after work she would go right to sleep.
Skip forward yet another month, to this past week. Baby Mama has since moved back in with her mother (whom has never liked my brother.. my brother smoked weed, apparently the nutjob didn't know her own daughter smoked weed, and that her son, who also had a child in his teens was a dealer) whom I'm guessing started right in on hammering the wedge she so deeply wanted between her daughter and my brother.
She's very religious. I would bet my life that her mother used religion to manipulate her. Seeing as how the only reason Baby Mama could cite for breaking up with my brother out of nowhere (yep, they broke up on Friday night) was, "it wasn't meant to be." Granted, I don't know Baby Mama that well, but I knew her enough to know that she is not being herself. And, just a bit of info for Baby Mama's mama, well, using religion to manipulate someone, telling them that this is what "God wants" because you want it? That's what cults do. That's what the Taliban did to convince people to blow themselves up.. So, congratulations, you're an emotional terrorist.
So basically, Baby Mama here broke up with her boyfriend, my brother, who stepped up when he found out she was pregnant, he gave up all his bad habits, did all he could possibly do while the baby is still in the womb, and yet Baby Mama shoots back with, "you're not stepping up." Obviously, I'm going to have to call BS on this one, for I'm not sure what else she wants from him... she's still carrying the baby, aside from becoming an obstetrician, I'm not seeing what else he can do from the outside. I once worked in an OB/GYN office... I could probably count on maybe 2 hands, how many fathers and fathers-to-be attended regular OB appointments. Give me a break, Baby Mama, and step off.
The sad thing? It's really going to be a harsh awakening when Baby Mama finally snaps out of her hypnotic state and realizes what her mother did. She tells her that she, essentially, has to move out upon having her child, and then uses what I'm assuming was her home, love, and acceptance as bait to get her to break up with the father of the baby. Really? I think nowadays, what most parents want when their daughter ends up in this "situation" is for the father to stick around. They shouldn't try their hardest to force the relationship to end.
I hope her mother knows what she did. And why it makes her a terrible mother to use her daughter's hormonal, vulnerable emotional state as window through which to get what she wants.
And I hope Baby Mama, who also struggles with depression (and is off her medication during the pregnancy... another possible factor in this weird behavior) can handle it when she realizes how she chose her insane mother over her baby's father, and what could have been a happy family-to-be.
To Baby Mama: Clearly I don't know what you're going through. And I can't even imagine having to choose between the father of my child and my mom, since both would be very important to me. But then again, there's that little detail, the kicker, if you will... My mom wouldn't have told me I couldn't live there, and pushed me away in the first place.
I hope your judgment isn't so easily clouded and swayed when you're making decisions for an infant.
And also, I hope you don't plan on keeping this baby from my brother, my mother, or myself. I'm going to get to be a full-time aunt this time.
Wonderful! Awesome! ;D
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